Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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