so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
