so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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