MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize