I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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