i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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