I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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