We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
