My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize