Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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