I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
