my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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