return my video game
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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