so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
