you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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