IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
