I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
