Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
