The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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