I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
