it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
