3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize