pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
