i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and she was petting her beer can
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
