How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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