i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
