he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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