just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
