i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There r osticjed everywhere
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
