I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
