cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
