You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
