the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
