OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
