I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
