I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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