i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
