If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
