I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
