dude i'm inner monologue high
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
