Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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