It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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