with your own penis?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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