she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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