so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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