I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
