i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
