You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
