I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
