he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Why did my mother make you get naked?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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