don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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