I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
