Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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