i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wish my penis had an off switch
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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