She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
