It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
