I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?