my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize